We’ve come to the end of  a very difficult week.

The first couple of days after putting Indie to sleep were agonizing.  I couldn’t find many reasons to smile and cried an awful lot.  I had this horrible, sad, empty, panicky feeling that I couldn’t get to go away.  I felt terrible about letting that beautiful cat go.  She spent 11 years with us and that’s not something very easy to forget.  Here it is Friday already and I do still look around for her.  I can picture her here or there.  I can picture exactly what she looks like and what she’d be doing.

I’m still sad but the panicky feeling has gone away.  You know, we could have kept her around longer but truth of the matter is, her problem was not going to go away.  We may have been able to manage it somewhat but would that have been good for her or for us?  She was miserable most of the time.  It has taken me a few days to realize that she probably wasn’t very happy most of the time.  Cats live by the moment, not how they’re going to feel in a day, two days or week into the future.  She wasn’t comfortable and she was making a mess all over the house.  I have to look at the big picture here and realize that we probably did what was best, for all parties involved.

Doesn’t really take the hurt and sadness away though.  I miss her furry body, sweet personality and pretty kitty face.  I always will.

So, some things are different around here and things will continue to change.  I know that.  Ollie, our big buddy, seems to be doing just fine.  I’m not really sure when or if he’s even going to notice that he’s the only furry thing around now.  We will shower a ton of love upon him, not that we always haven’t but he’s just going to get all the more now.  We want him around for a while longer yet.

Onto more uplifting, happier things.  Teagan is all about her hands.  For the past week, she just puts them in front of her eyes and moves them back and forth, occasionally hitting herself on the head and crying.

She does a lot of crying.  She’s a hungry girl.  When she’s had her fill, that’s when she’s smiley and talkative.  More and more “agoo-ing” near the end of the week.  I love having these little mimicking conversations with her.  She’s not much of a daytime napper but she is sleeping through the night and has been for the past two weeks or so.  She goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 pm and sleeps (for the most part) until about 6:30 am.  We do wake up periodically throughout the night to move her back down the crib.  She’s a creeper.  She creeps all the way up into the corner.  She’s a belly sleeper, too.  I have a feeling she’s going to be mobile a lot sooner than Hailey was.

Hailey is a singer.  She sings songs that she learns at school.  Today, I heard her singing the months of the year song.  She got the entire thing right.  We read stories at bedtime.  She has one of her stories completely memorized, word for word.  I laughed so hard last night when she literally read her bedtime story to ME.  The book is “Pinkalicious” and we love it.  She also draws and draws and draws and draws.  Her drawings resemble that of Dr. Seuss illustrations.  She will explain everything in the drawings to us, too.  Her imagination is wild.

We’re also getting ready for her fourth birthday.  Four years old.  Can you tell me where the past four years have gone?!  We’re having a family get-together for her birthday and I have a few surprises for her.  I’m really looking forward to that.

I still can’t believe that it’s October already.  Sometimes I still think it’s July.  I suppose that’s because the past three months have been a whirlwind.  It definitely feels like October.  This is one of my favorite months, so I hope to get out of the funk soon and get a better attitude toward everything.  I’m really looking forward to having some fun with the girls this month.

I’m glad this week is coming to an end.  We hope to make a fresh start next week and feel alive again.