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I was seriously contemplating coming downstairs at 5:30 am this morning to write about this dream I had but forced myself to stay in bed and relish in the fact that I actually MADE it to 5:30 am in the morning without waking up a zillion times to pee or whatever.  So, I silently prayed that I would not forget about this dream.  Rarely do I forget about the dreams I have when my dad makes an appearance in them.  Because that’s when I get to hang out with him…in my dreams.

It was a fairly normal (odd) dream for me…not any different than any other, really.  I was home (home = Pennsylvania and always will).  There is a dirt/cinder alley just to the back of my house (my house = the house I spent the first 19 years of my life in) and I was back there, behind my neighbors house.  I was trying to ride my bike, a bike I bought about seven years ago, which I sold via Craigslist last year.  This bike has never been to PA but finally made it there in my dream last night.  There was a problem with the bike though.  I would get on it and couldn’t steer it.  My bike was broken.  It really annoyed me.  So, I walked with my bike to my garage, which sits at the very end of Prince Alley.  There in the garage, was my older brother’s red Firebird.  He had a red Firebird when I was probably 7 or 8 years old.  The thing just sat there, I don’t remember it ever really running.

The hood was up on the Firebird and suddenly, there was my dad.

He was in the garage, working on the Firebird.  It didn’t surprise or upset me.  It was just normal.  He was there, working on the car.  Just like he always did.  My dad was a blue collar man with very large, stained and calloused hands.  40 years in a factory will do that to you.  He had “daddy hands”.  Total hard-working, real man hands.

But I digress.  I greeted him.  He started explaining something to me about what he was doing under the hood of the car.  That part, I forgot.  It was car lingo.  Whatever it was that he was doing, he was pretty pleased with himself and that’s all that mattered to me.  I showed him my bike.  I remember feeling kind of bad.  I didn’t want to interrupt his work on the car but I ended up telling him how my bike wouldn’t steer anymore.  So, he took my bike and we looked at it…together  (and this part is making me cry).  He figured out why my bike wouldn’t steer and he fixed it for me, on the spot.  I was so happy and I took the bike for a quick spin behind the garage.  For a moment, I said to myself, “See?  This is what I need my dad here for.  To fix things.”  It was something like that anyway.

He went back to working on the Firebird.  I told him that I was going to get some ice cream from Dairy Queen.  In my mind I was thinking, because I’m pregnant.  But I didn’t say that out loud.  Instead, I said, “Because I really want some ice cream.”  I could see the wheels turning in his head.  I knew he wanted something too but he wasn’t sure.  So, I told him to think about it, that I was going down to the house (through the garage, down the sidewalk that runs through the middle of my backyard) and I would be back to find out what he wanted.  That was ok with him.

So, I went down to the house.  I stopped for a moment to talk to my neighbors, who no longer live in the house next to mine.  I wanted to make sure that Natalie knew that we are having a girl.  I wasn’t sure if she knew.  Then, there was Hailey.  She was going to come to Dairy Queen with me.  She was scampering around, like a typical 3 year old.  She walked ahead of me, back into the garage where my dad was now underneath the car.  She had to step over him and as she did, she said, “Hi daddy”.  I said, “No, Hailey, that’s Grandpa”.  He rolled out from under the car and Hailey exited through the back of the garage.  So, as far as I know, he didn’t see her and didn’t talk to her.  It didn’t really phase me but in retrospect, he has never met Hailey, so this would make sense.

I asked him again if he wanted anything from Dairy Queen.  I could see him thinking for a moment.  He then said he wanted “cheddar soup”.  I had to think about it for a second.  Dairy Queen doesn’t have cheddar soup.  I said, “You mean like, broccoli and cheddar soup?”  No, all he wanted was cheddar soup.  I realized that I was going to have to make a second stop somewhere else.  If my dad wanted cheddar soup, I was going to get it for him.

I got into my car…which, I think was actually my very first car, if I remember correctly.

That was about it.  Nothing else happened.  I guess I woke up.  But, it was a dream where my dad appeared.  It was a calm, happy dream.  Those are few and far between and they mean the world to me.  Because, the only place I ever see or speak to him now is in my dreams.