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I have been having some restless nights for the past couple of weeks. Two nights ago and last night have been the worst so far. I’m up in the middle of the night with hunger pains and needing to pee. I’ve been feeling anxious about the baby. I’m surprising myself with this anxiety but I guess when you’re a mother, doesn’t matter how many children you have, that feeling of worry sticks with you. I was very in tune with my first (technically, 2nd) pregnancy and felt movement from at least week 15. This pregnancy has been no different. Except, I didn’t feel much movement yesterday or the day before. So, I was up at 6 am this morning, navigating to my trusty BabyCenter.com site, reading the testimonials from other women who have felt or haven’t felt movements at week 16/17.

I have a doctor’s appointment today where I *hope* to find out the baby’s sex. Eric is involved in meetings this entire week and he is very “business-like” when it comes to his job. He told me that he will not be reachable for the majority of this week. Of course, my main concern is, what if there is something wrong with the baby? Or, what if something happens to the bug or I this week? Sometimes he comes across so uncompassionate and I don’t think he realizes it. But I notice. Especially since we’ve been down this road before and the day I thought I was going to have my baby, I couldn’t find him. That’s a story for another day. Anyway, after expressing my concerns, he loosened up a bit and reassured me that I’d be able to find him.

So, this morning, I woke up to an angry and persistent three year old (which is not anything new lately). She couldn’t find her “Nana”. Nana is a doll and was nowhere to be found this morning. At least, in her terms. She isn’t that great at searching just yet. I see a pattern of demands and expectations coming from her and before it gets out of hand, I’m doing my best to “help” her without actually helping her. If that makes any sense. I think I’m helping her gain confidence and independence. Whether it’s working, I really don’t know. But I’m doing the best that I can. So rather than give in to her pleas of help finding Nana, “help” meaning, “Mommy, you find her for me while I watch.”, I decided to blog hop while she stomps around, mumbling under her breath. I haven’t been out and about reading the blogs I so love to read for the longest time, so I decided to relax and spend my morning in other people’s worlds. If you’re one of them, you know because I’ve left my “Amy was here” stamp in your comments.

As I sat here indulging myself into other worlds, I felt a “bump”. A bump that I’ve been wanting to feel for a day or so now. That little bump brought a smile to my face and suddenly, my world doesn’t seem so bad at the moment. Still, I look forward to getting to my appointment and hopefully catching a black and white glimpse of a little life.

Oh, I did end up searching for Nana. I found her and now all is well in the world of the three year old.

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  1. I guess your post answered most of the questions that I just emailed you. I can’t wait to hear about the appointment. I remember those days of worry. You stated it perfectly. I hope you and Hailey and Eric…have a happy worry/free week. Hang in there….

  2. Emily

    Oooh you felt a bump! Thats great news! Fingers crossed for your ultrasound.

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