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If you’ve been reading, you know that Hailey came home from the hospital this past Friday. All seemed well, actually; not really. The diarrhea never went away.

Sunday, she developed a fever and the diarrhea came back full force. You can imagine our panic after the events of the past two weeks. We called the doctor and told them what was going on. She informed us that Hailey has probably picked up a new virus from her stay in the hospital. WHAT??? Monday morning rolls around and I take Hailey in for her follow-up doctor appointment. Her doctor says we just need to wait this out. I’m screaming at the top of my lungs here and no one can hear me. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? They’ve made my baby a number and that does not set well with me. I keep hearing about “how all of the kids are going through this right now”. Here’s the advice from the professionals, “Keep her hydrated”. Can someone please tell me how to keep a 5 1/2 month old baby hydrated when she absolutely refuses to put the nipple of the bottle into her mouth and suck anything out? Maybe they make something for infants that helps you pry their lips open and you just put a funnel in their throat and pour the formula down. I’ve just become rich! It just doesn’t work this way.

We head home, feeling no better. Neither one of us. My little baby who is feverish and spewing poo all over the place, and me, who has barely slept a full night in at least two weeks because I have both ears to the monitor every nap and every night, just listening and waiting for that horrible, scary sound of a seizure.

Tuesday, she’s moody all day. She’s still eating well but just not acting herself. I give her the benefit of the doubt because she still has a fever and her insides are mush. She started acting different in the afternoon (but the feeling I get from the professionals is that I don’t know my own daughter). I call Eric and tell him something just isn’t right and I’m not comfortable with her behavior. She started to refuse her bottles, once again. This is deja vu. This can not be happening AGAIN.

Eric came home and we found ourselves at the ER, AGAIN. I had to watch my little baby get stuck in each extremity (sometimes two times) while the ER staff searched for a vein to start her IV fluids. Her veins kept collapsing because she was becoming dehydrated, AGAIN.

I spent the night at the hospital last night, AGAIN. More tests were run on Hailey and more waiting. Eric is staying with her tonight to give me a much needed break, if that’s even possible at this point.

I don’t know how to sleep anymore, especially in an empty house. This is going to be a weird night but I hope I sleep right through it.

I’ll be heading back to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning to relieve Eric for work. We are both working overtime here to ensure our baby becomes healthy quickly. One thing for sure, we are not backing down this time. She will stay right there until we are absolutely sure she is out of the woods.

We finally received a test result tonight. She tested positive for rotavirus. I still think she had it two weeks ago, I’m not sure why it came up negative then. I keep getting the feeling that things are overlooked and since I am not a medical professional, I can’t catch these things. I rely on them to make sure my daughter is receiving the best care. I have felt like I’ve been talking to a wall for the past two weeks. No one seemed to think this illness was of any concern. I need a book that tells you “How to ask the right questions and get your answers”. The one thing I am absolutely tired of hearing is “There are so many kids with this problem right now”. That is the answer I get in response to my question, “What is the plan for MY baby?” “What are we going to do for HER?”

I need to rest my mind and my body now and be strong for my sick little ladybug. I will get MY questions answered tomorrow, even if I have to follow those doctors around the hospital all day.