Today is my mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday, mama! So glad to be spending it with her.

However, my spirits are low because I’m longing to hold my little baby in my arms…AT HOME. I’m tired of running back and forth from the hospital and holding her with wires wrapped around her and feeling like the nurses are in control of her. I feel like we have to wait until they tell us, “Yes, we can” or “No, we can’t”. It’s making me nuts. She’s OUR baby!

I feel like I’m missing out on some much needed bonding time with Hailey. It’s breaking my heart to walk through the door and not have her with me. I should be holding her and comforting her, not the nurses.

On top of it all, I am so swollen from giving birth. We joke that I have “hobbit” feet because my feet are so swollen. I haven’t been taking care of myself like I should. That’s all because my focus is on that little human being that I don’t have with me right now.

I just want to bring Hailey home.