Well, here goes. You’ve reached complaint central. I’m 5 months pregnant and learning things about being pregnant that I had no idea about. For example:

You might feel sick and want to die the first 3 months of your pregnancy and there’s really nothing you can do about it (nausea meds and seabands don’t help – take my word for it), don’t sleep on your back, don’t eat brie cheese, don’t sleep on your stomach, don’t eat deli meat, don’t change your cat’s litter box (ok!), don’t drink fluids while you eat (heartburn), drink 8 glasses of water per day so you don’t go into pre-term labor, if you don’t feel your baby move at least 10 times per day (you must keep track), call your doctor because something is DEFINITELY wrong! eat slower (heartburn), constipation (didn’t say this was going to sound pretty…), shortness of breath, stretch marks, sore boobs (sorry, it’s very true), light-headedness, don’t drink too much caffeine (low birth weight baby), incompetent cervix (your baby might fall out), don’t take advil, don’t have dental work done, don’t eat more than 1 can of tuna per week, don’t eat undercooked meat (no more medium steaks!), dont drink or smoke (what the hell??? – just kidding about that one – it’s a no brainer), don’t sit in a sauna or hot tub or stand in front of a microwave (you might cook the baby), you will be constantly reminded about breastfeeing by your doctors and you will be asked to take tests to check on abnormalities in your baby (no pressure), and last but not least – you might poop on the table while giving birth! FABULOUS!!

i’ll stop there but i’m sure if i tried real hard, i could think of other things. i’m half way through my pregnancy and i’m sure there are more fun things to come…oh, i mean besides the ridiculously stupid comments from coworkers, the random pats on the tummy from strangers, and the waddling while i walk problem. some of the above is just bull – i’ve seriously read or heard about each and every bit of it though but i’ll stick with the knowledge my mother gives me, she was pregnant 8 times and we all turned out fine, well mostly. you get to hear a lot of crap when your pregnant and it’s all just to make you worry. what about all of the women back in the – what – 18-1900′s? they probably didn’t know or worry about half of this stuff. i think we try to know or prevent too much these days. it’s the age of worry and depression.

i try to keep my worries in check. i think the munchkin is pretty well protected in my tummy and she’ll be just fine. what’s meant to be will be.

thanks for reading my rant.